Dr. Anil Kumar Agarwal

Astrology is always a subject of interest. Most of the people don’t believe in it up to some extent but at some point they also want to get its help. People generally feel they are not achieving what they wish to be so when their thoughts weaken them they go under the shelter of astrology.

The same happened with Govinda, a Hindi film star as per the NBT news. Govinda is baldy so he went to London for weaving but as the astrologer suggested him that the time for weaving hair is not good for him. On the advice of the astrologer he returned from London without meeting the physician. It is well known how much Govinda is orthodox. It was the height of orthodoxy when Govinda came back from London on the advice of his astrologer. It is evident Govinda had been going to London for hair weaving for three years but this time he came back as the ‘Shubh Lagna’ was not in his ‘Kundli’.

According to the nearest sources of him, he went for hair weaving and for that he had the long meeting with the physician. The doctor told him to come the next day although weaving was to be done on the third day but he didn’t turn up the following day. He had already flown to India. Actually before going to the doctor Govinda phoned  his astrologer and sought for his advice. The clairvoyant advised him to postpone the weaving. Hearing it Govinda didn’t waste a second and took the flight of India to go home.

Obviously a question comes in to the mind if Govinda must take advice of the seer before going to London. Again there is a problem as Govinda himself is not predictive. Nobody knows what Govinda will do the next moment even he himself doesn’t know about his next action. Therefore it was difficult to discuss with the fortune-teller.

Men as well as most of the animals live in groups. Group renders them some facilities like security, affection, even new offspring learns so many things in the group and in other words it can be said that their survival is possible only in group. For additional security man made his groups bigger and bigger in ascending order like family, colony, city, state and at last country. There are also many efforts to keep on uniting all the countries. In this process many laws are framed that are applicable on all the nations. Now some people use a word global village for the whole world.

To keep this society in peace many laws and norms are formed. A special group of people with special training is created that is called police. The duty of the police is to maintain the law and order. In this work the police seems to be capable but some times in special circumstances the police appears incapable. To solve such cases special types of police are formed called CBI, CID, RAW etc.

Having all such type of security groups, crime has not been eradicated. Some times it looks as if it has increased many folds. If we talk about Delhi that is called the capital of India the crime rate is at its peak. The morning newspaper is full of crime stories; not only the third page which is used for such news is full of such incidents but also the front page is full of these ill events. This shows that Delhi has been converted into the city of crimes. When such situation occurs in any city it is difficult to live there.

To control this horrible situation the Govt. must take some bold steps and decisions intelligently and honestly. Some people say that law and order of Delhi can’t be controlled as the police, leaders and the Govt. itself is corrupt but one should always be positive only than solution can be found out. Now the time has come when we must do some concrete work on this issue.

A judge asked a lady, ‘Why do you want to divorce him?’

She replied, ‘Sir, my husband came at 2 o’clock at night and was drunk. I put off his shoes, got his clothes changed and served him dinner. After that he told me how I loved and helped him so much, Rambha darling.’

‘But this is not the solid reason of divorce,’ the judge enquired of her.

She clarified, ‘My name is not Rambha but Usha.’

**

At the time of crossing the graveyard, a drunkard looked at the grave of a leader and saw the board on it. Something was written on it: He is not dead but only resting here.

The drunkard murmured, ‘He is trying to make people fool even after death.’

***

‘Looking restless. Are you alright?’

‘There was no electricity at night so that I couldn’t sleep properly.’

‘Don’t worry. The electricity department will have been handed over to a private company after some months then everything will be alright.’

‘How can you say so confidently?’

‘In private sector everything prospers as our population is increasing day by day.’

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Man is the most intelligent creature in the universe so as the most corrupt too. He shows affections to every one but his hatred emerges when he feels annoyed in any form. When his hatred increases in all the way it is converted in to violence. He forgets all the relations even with his own parents who gave him birth and the children to whom he offered birth when his own interests are clashed with them. He shows his annoyance to them directly or in other way round. Sometimes his hatred crosses all the limits and he takes such a dreaded step that it becomes the news for the newspapers and his act is not forgotten for a long. The same happened in the case of Niket who took such a heinous step that it will be difficult for the public to forget it easily. It might be very late, by then he would realize his mistake.

Niket was annoyed with his father and had strained relations between them. So under such a deep stress he hired a contract killer and got his father murdered. He managed to escape from the police for two and a half years but the crime branch has searched him out. The police have arrested five persons along with him who committed the crime.

One more culprit of the crime had already been killed in a gang war.  It was also strange that the police couldn’t solve the case and the culprits were moving freely until the case was transferred to the crime branch.

According to the DCP (crime branch) they arrested all the five alleged culprit on the tip received. After interrogation it was revealed that Niket’s father had the business of spices in Kharibaoli market. He got second marriage after the death of his first wife. He had four children from his first wife and Niket was the youngest one. His elder son died in mysterious circumstances in Himachal Pradesh last year. His dead body was found in a burnt state in his car. Second son was mentally unbalanced and had also died. His third child is a daughter who is married and lives with her in-laws.

According to the sources Niket and his father had very strained relations. Niket was annoyed with his father as his father was spending money lavishly and he was also not happy for his father’s second marriage.  His father used to misbehave with him. Niket thought if his father had spent money so abundantly what would have been left for him one day. Having this thought he along with his friend made the plan to get his father killed. On behalf of Niket Lalit hired the killers in ten Lakhs rupees.

On 11^th January 2008, as per the plan, when his father had gone to morning walk he was shot dead. After the killing the executioners collected the money and took to their heels. When local police failed to solve the case and the time has passed long, Nikesh sold his father’s shop.

It is the recent example how a man can take such a drastic step. Not only he has ruined his own life but also the remaining members will also suffer a lot. They can’t even live in society with a desired honor.

A man narrated his story, ‘I passed my childhood in the village that was very small. When the train stopped at the village station, its half engine must be out of the village.’

**

A bicycle man hit a Sadhu. He cursed the man angrily, ‘May God make you a Blue Line Bus driver. You do quite a big accident and go to jail.’

***

‘Sir, if you give me something, cars will run around you.’

‘Don’t you read newspaper? Do you know the petrol prices are rising up?’

****

A customer said, ‘Why did you hang a banana on your ear?’

The shopkeeper replied, ‘Oh my God! It means I have eaten my pen by mistake.’

*****

Some children were playing in front of an astrologer’s house when a man enquired of them, ‘There is an astrologer who lives in this locality. Can you tell me in which house he lives?’

A child replied, ‘He lives in this house but he is not a good astrologer. If you go straight, in the end of the corner, an astrologer who is good in his profession lives.’

The astrologer heard this conversation as he was in his house at that time. He came out of the house and began reprimanding the child, ‘Why did you defame me. I think I should complain against you to your parents so tell me what your name is.’

The child replied, ‘You are an astrologer so you tell me what my name is.’

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A driver was repeating the same sentence that he was not responsible for that accident. The public prosecutor said, ‘Your honor, I can prove that his eye sight is weak.’ The lawyer opened his briefcase and got out two steel plates of coin’s size. He gave them to the driver and asked him what these two were.

The driver saw them for some time and replied, ‘I can’t tell you correctly but I think the bigger one is one rupee coin and smaller one in Fifty paisa coin.’

**

A lady retorted her leader husband, ‘You have spoken so many lies, taken bribe, done many scandals and many more such acts. What is that which you hadn’t done but your party have not given you ticket during elections. It is shame on you as well as on your third class party.’

***

A notorious man was reprimanding his son, ‘If you don’t study how you will write letter for ransom.’

****

At railway station: Sir, from which platform Bhopal train will leave? “Go and ask it on enquiry.’

“To whom should I ask where the enquiry is?’

*****

A beggar: ‘I am hungry for two days. If you give me some money I will take food.’

‘I don’t have cash.’

The beggar: ‘You can pay me a cheque.’

******

‘From where did you get this camera?’

‘My brother bought it from Japan and I have taken 25 snaps.’

‘Which film did you load in the camera?’

‘Can you tell me what film is?’

In America an actress wrote a letter to a judge, ‘Me lord, in 1998 I got married in your court. Can you tell me the name of my husband? I will be grateful to you.’

**

Why are you digging the road?

‘Next week the Chief Minister is coming to visit this road.’

‘What is the relation between his visit and digging the road?’

‘Coming here he will assure the locals to reconstruct this road.’

***

A boy saved a girl from drowning. Having regained her consciousness she said to the boy, ‘You can take my every thing that you want.’

The boy took her watch.

****

A man said to a saint, ‘Tell me a method of living without worries.’

The saint replied, ‘My son, leave worldly affair and go near God.’

*****

A teacher asked the children, ‘Where do date’s trees found in abundance?’ A child replied, ‘Mam, it is found maximum on the container of the Dalda ghee.’

**

A child said to his Mom, ‘If any body breaks your vase what you will do against him.’ ‘I will break his head,’ the Mom replied. The child, ‘Be ready Mom. Papa is coming after breaking the vase.’

***

A lady said to her friend, ‘This is I who have made her husband a millionaire.’ ‘What was he before marriage?’ the friend enquired. The lady replied in arrogance, ‘Before marriage, he was a billionaire.’

****

Leena, ‘When I get married many friends of mine will be frustrated.’

Teena, ‘You are going to marry to how many friends.’

*****

There was a tornado in the sea; a passenger enquired of the captain of the ship how far we were away from the land. The captain replied that we were half a kilometer away from the land. The passenger again asked him about the direction. The captain calmly answered, ‘From the bottom of the sea.’

******

A man who hails from Bihar phoned to Jaipur from one of the telephone booth of Delhi. Having seen the bill he was baffled and said, ‘If I do a phone call from Bihar to hell even then the bill will be very low.’ The booth operator said slyly, ‘You are absolutely correct. For local call you are to pay less.’

*******

A new face cream is introduced in the market. If a forty years old lady applies it she will look only 16/ 17 years old. ‘How it happens.’ ‘If you use it your face will be filled with pimples.’

There was strange news in an evening newspaper that a girl went to a children program with out wearing panty. In the first look it was difficult to understand what the paper wanted to convey to the readers. When it was read with cool mind it was understood. For that the court had sent her summons. The name of the girl is Yana Gupta. A court of Lucknow had issued the summons to Yana, the photographer who took her snaps and the program organizer. The program was held on 6th December.  Yana attended the children program in Mumbai not only did in short black dress and not wearing the panty but also gave the strange and unethical poses. After this incident instead of feeling guilty or embarrassed she said it was the funniest day of my life on a social net working site. In an interview she even said that people used to say her ‘item girl’ but now they would say her ‘no panty girl’. She also added that she wanted to do the advertisement of panty then whose punch line would be – ‘I have got them now’.

Rizwan Ahmad, a social worker who filed the suite against her said, ‘For publicity, no body should do such a shameful and uncultured act which our society doesn’t permit.’ He also added that it was disgraceful to go down to such an ugly level by any celebrity. He said, ‘No body can forget to wear clothes even in his own house. How can any body go out to her home in such a way?’ The excuse that was given by Yana is also very interesting. She said, ‘She went to the children program directly from her dance class and forgot keeping her undergarment.’ No body can accept her excuse that she had made.

Occasionally such type of news appears in the newspapers that generally belong to the western countries not to India. It is said India is also adopting the culture of west but nobody could have thought that one day it would attain such level. Now any thing can happen in India too and no body can save Indian culture upon which India felt proud.

Once there was a king who was a holy person too. One day he decided to do a grand ‘Havan’ and a gala party after the Havan. For that he ordered the public to give all the milk to the king for the feast on the scheduled date. The king arranged a very big pot to collect all the milk in front of the palace. People obeyed the king’s command. No body had kept a single drop of milk at home and poured their whole milk in to the pot kept near the palace.

The king came to see the collecting milk. Having seen it the king got surprised that the pot was not even filled half of the total volume.  The king sent his soldiers to all the villages for collecting the milk. They searched every house but couldn’t find even the trace of milk. The soldiers returned frustrated. The king was also amazed. At the same time an old woman came with a small pot of milk. As soon as she poured her milk in to the king’s pot, the milk reached up to the upper level of the pot. Everybody was a witness of the magic. The king asked the old lady, ‘Do you know the magic?’ The old lady replied, ‘Me Lord, what is magic that I don’t know? I have just obeyed your order. I got up early in the morning and milked the cow. First half of the milk was drunk by the cow’s calf. I gave some part of the milk to my dog and cat. Rest of the milk I poured in to your pot.’

The king got angery and said, ‘Why did you do it. You have given just a part of the milk.’ The old lady replied again calmly, ‘O king, if you want to offer some thing to God you must give the thing first to his creatures. How many children will have been hungry today that you don’t know? Do you think the God will accept your milk? I dare to say this is the reason why your milk pot was half empty.’

Hearing her arguments the kings got enlightened and distributed the milk among public.