Dr. Anil Kumar Agarwal

It is considered that dog is the first companion of man and its faithfulness has also been proved. Many people love to keep dog in their houses. The dog has many varieties starting from very big dog to a very small dog; the bigger one is as big as a lion and is used in hunting where as small one is as small as like a rabbit. Dogs are used in police to catch the culprits and even in army too. Dogs push the cart at the places where the land is covered with snow whole of the year. In this way dog shows its presence every where. People keep them in house as a pet that is used for house security as well as for fun sake.

Some people love their dogs like their own child; if any body misbehaves with their dogs they become annoyed with the person concerned. Some people talk to their dogs for a long time at a stretch. They love to keep such dogs who can understand their chatter.

There is a dog, named Chaser. It is being claimed that Chaser understands more than one thousand words. It is widely thought that no animal can learn this much of words. In the year 2000, a dog, named Rico in Germany knew only 200 words. According to a British newspaper, psychiatrist Aliston Reed and the owner of Chaser told that Chaser has learned more than one thousand words at the age of six. Three years back both Dr Pilli and Professor Reed had started working on the subject as to how big was the vocabulary of Chaser. They had named one thousand and twenty two toys. After a regular training given to Chaser they found that Chaser could remember about one thousand such names. Chaser now can differentiate them according to their size and shape. It is worth while to mention here that even three year old boy can also do this much work. The aim of Professor Reed was to know the limit of the memory of dogs. Chaser had taken 838 tests and it never got less than 18 marks out of 20. Its capabilities have been published in the New Scientist magazine. Chaser was given three orders along with the name of the toy – walked with pressing its toes, pushed with the nose and brought it here. Generally pet owners think that there pets understand many things and now science says they are right.

Every day some wonderful story appears in a newspaper as it is the only source to know new information though TV also provides us what is happening around. Today there was a story related to an old man of 94 years. The man is blessed with a son in this age. His first wife died many years ago so he married again to a lady who was in mid forties at that time. After ten years of marriage, now she has delivered a male baby. Both the mother and child are well at present. The delivery was made in a Govt. hospital in Haryana as they live there.

The old man is very happy after hearing this news. He has beaten the old record by four years as an old man of ninety years of age got a son. This new record might be the world record and may be added in the Guinness book of world records.

The man who started keeping these world records must himself be a wonderful man. This is a great thing to keep such records. Everybody knows about it but doesn’t know how to proceed if any such strange thing is found in the society. If this amazing event finds place in the Guinness book, it will be the pride for India that Indian men are so fertile. It may be possible that the committee of Guinness book will examine the claim from all the angles as before sending it there it is better the case must be made strong enough. For that we must obtain the age proof of the great old man and it had better if the DNA test for paternity is got done. Having completed all the formalities the case can be safely sent to the Guinness book of world records.

A traffic police inspector got a car stopped and asked the driver to show the driving license. Having seen the license, the inspector allowed him to go. The driver said, ‘I have not broken any traffic rule so why you stopped me.’ The inspector replied, ‘after a very long time I saw a man in the city who was driving the car carefully so I wanted to see whether he had the driving license or not.’

**

A patient asked the doctor, ‘Speak the truth, how long I will live.’ The doctor enquired him of asking such a question. He said, ‘If my life is short why I ought to start a new TV serial having one thousand episodes.’

***

Visiting the jail a leader said to the jailer, ‘Thank you for cooperation.’

The jailor replied, ‘Mention not sir, the doors of our jail are always open for you.’

****

Two friends met after a long time and one of them took the other to her house. Having seen an effigy of a lion in the drawing room she said to her friend, ‘It’s a beautiful lion you got it from where.’ The host friend replied, ‘Once I went for hunting with my husband in a jungle. A lion came in front of my husband so he shot at him but the target missed. The lion returned after some time and I shot it dead.’

The guest friend asked her, ‘What is filled inside the lion’s effigy.’

‘My husband,’ the host replied.

*********************

An American joke: To change a bulb how many lawyers are required? ‘Four advocates.’ Why.’

‘One lawyer climbs on the ladder and will try to put the bulb in a holder. Two lawyers will hold the ladder and after some time they will shake the ladder violently. Fourth advocate will sue the ladder company.’

**

A thief was caught from his house. When the police was about to take him away his wife told him, ‘Listen, today in the morning I have ordered the grocery shop to send pulses, wheat flour and some other necessary eatables. As the shop is on the way so you tell him to send all these items in half the quantity of the placed order.’

***

My father said to me, ‘If I leave cigarette, liquor and some other bad habits he will give me one lakh of rupees.’

‘Then you leave these bad habits,’ his friend said to him.

If I leave these habits what I will do with the money.

****

‘What is the best creation of God?’

‘Man.’

‘Who said it?’

‘Some man told it.’

*****

‘What is the difference between a leader and a dacoit?’

‘The police are found in front of former and behind latter.’

******

There was a notice board in front of a shop, ‘If men want to buy curtains, bed sheets etc., they must come with an authority letter duly signed by their wives.’

*********************

What can be bigger foolishness than it is that you think you are intelligent?

**

The people in Australia generally ask a question when Warn Field does so much exercise out of the field why he has obesity.

***

A man living near the police station went somewhere on his scooter without helmet after having dinner. He went hardly a hundred yards when a police inspector stopped to challan him.

The man said he was going to have a ‘Pan’. Having cut the challan the inspector told him we should go to take ‘Pan’ together and asked what he was.

The man replied his name is Munna Lal and he runs a ‘Pan’ shop.

****

In a concert, after hearing many songs of singers a boy asked his father, ‘Why these people are singing songs here?’

The father replied yawning, ‘I think their neighbors don’t allow them to sing at their home.’

*******************

‘Should I marry a girl whom my parents like or I? To ask this question is like this: Should I suicide by eating poison or hanging?’

**

My friends are good; I got it when I was going to Mumbai. My three friends came to the station to see me off. They came with some snacks, drinks and sweets. The moment the train left the station they sat on the platform and started eating.

***

Pandit: Neta ji, if you tell a lie you will go to hell.

Neta ji: If I speak the truth it will also be proved like a hell for me. After telling the truth I will be defeated in the election.

****

Wanted an experienced man, who can teach a man interested in marriage that he is going to do blunder in his life.

*****

‘Yesterday there was a theft in our neighborhood.’

‘Who was affected?’

‘It happened in a lock manufacturing factory. The thieves stole many thousand keys and locks.’

******

I thought you are timid but tell me how you saved the drowning man.

The fact was that he borrowed from me five thousand rupees. If he had drowned my money would also have drowned.

*******

A man asked a leader, ‘Sir, why did he refuse the shoe factory invitation on its opening ceremony.’

The leader replied, ‘I have enough experience of last year’s election. It will be better if the shoes production go down.’

*************************

Delhi is a city of varieties means that if you think something you will find it and along with this poverty is also in abundance here. The basic need of a man is food, clothes and shelter. Food provides energy and essential constituents to the body whereas clothes protect the body from the bad effects of the weather. Nowadays men live in civilized society where living naked is prohibited though there is no such law written in the constitution of India. If it is written that is not in my knowledge but even then society will not permit anyone to live without clothes. The third essential thing is shelter or it can be called house. Shelter means any closed place where one can be prevented from cold, heat and rains as per the weather conditions.

In the winter shelter is really a need of everyone for sleeping at night. There are many hundred people who have no refuge to live in Delhi. To prevent them from cold the Govt. has constructed many Pucca shelters and some temporary shelters for homeless people at different places in Delhi.

The Supreme Court of India has also ordered the concerned authorities to build more asylums for these homeless people. Some agencies are working in this direction. The matter of homeless children is very sensitive as well as complicated. Some children don’t go to these night shelters to sleep as they are afraid of these places. Some of them are addicted to drugs and prefer to sleep near roads to the haven. An NGO working to these homeless children says there are also some other reasons that makes the problem graver. One of the members of this organization said, ‘The problem can be solved if the work is done in all directions keeping in view all points related to them because age and gender both are sensitive points.’  Drug addict children need both shelter as well as counseling.

There are four types of shelters required separately for different categories of people like children, female, male and family. The Govt. can’t leave them abondoned so a permanent policy should be framed for night shelters as these are the need of the city.

Our society is full of things that are antagonist to each other. Even the same thing is good for one person or society and bad or curse for another. A newly born child also falls in the same category. If a child is born in an affluent family his arrival is celebrated. Suppose the same child is born in an affluent family but he may not be liked by some members of the same family. If the jealous member of the family is also criminal mind the child’s life may come in danger.

In another case, if a child is born in a poor family he may be welcomed as a new arrival, but he may come in trouble if one of the parents is greedy and lacks emotions. He or she may sell his new born gift given by God to any buyer. There is a saying, ‘Rich gets rich and poor gets children;’ but this proverb doesn’t fit here because parents love their child. It is very unfortunate when  parents are obliged to sell their child just merely for the sake of money though sometime this selling give the child a better fortune if he gets new affluent and affectionate parents. If such child is bought by some bad element the child will be overwhelmed by worse misfortune.

Having found such business lucrative some people have adopted it as a trade. They buy and sell the newly born children. All the people whether buyer, seller, and trader are in benefit except the child whose fortune are really at stake. He may or may not be benefitted.

Yesterday the Delhi police cracked such a racket and arrested the sellers and their co-workers including the doctor and NGO’s members. They were arrested under the criminal act. In this modus-operandi one interesting point is found. The lady who wants to buy a child is first admitted in a nursing home as a pregnant lady and is about to deliver a child. During the admission in a nursing home a child is handed over to her after taking the settled money and the false documents are prepared as if the lady had delivered the child. In this way when the lady goes back her home she says this is her own delivered child. If she adopts the same child it will be called an adopted child forever. This emotion works behind this modus-operandi.

Under the influence of emotions she forgets that buying the child is a criminal offence but adoption of a child is not.

There are so many schools running in Delhi, one of the metro cities of India. These are run by the Govt. as well as by private sector and these are called Govt. and public schools respectively. The public schools have grown up like mushroom in the last two decades. In the last one decade it has become quite clear in everybody’s mind that it is a profitable business. Everyone has a strong wish to run a public school whether he himself is educated or not and the reason is only one that has already been told above. These public schools charge rather high fees. They don’t charge fees for the need of the school but they charge fees as much as they can for the sole motive of profit. There teaching faculty is not better qualified as compared to the Govt. school teaching staff. Most of the public school teachers try to join the Govt. school but no Govt. school teacher wants to join public school. The reason is quite obvious so need not explain it here. I dare to say that it shows that the Govt. school teachers are more efficient than the public school teachers. But one thing is just reverse of it; the public school administration binds the teachers to do hard work but in the Govt. schools such type of administration lacks. That is the reason why public schools are considered better than the Govt. schools.

It is obvious that the people wish to get their children admitted in these public schools. Therefore the public schools misuse the parents’ emotions. Parents are ready to accept their all the undue demands.

Every year the Govt. announce that it will make some guide lines for public schools so that parents will be at ease but in vain. This year also it seems to be the same scene. The Govt. said the public school can adopt new admission procedure as per their need but under the Govt. guidance. The statement appears to be dubious. Instead of this the Govt. has increased the poor Quota seats to 25% from 15%. The fees of this 10% increased quota will be paid by the Govt. It is difficult to understand the Govt. decision. Why the Govt. wants to increase poor quota in these public school when the people who can afford the public school fees are already in problem for admission.

The Govt. is already running its own schools and these schools are equally rather more capable to provide better education. It is better if the Govt. concentrate at its schools. The Govt. schools can provide better results if sincere efforts are made.

‘I want to marry such a girl who will look after me in my old age.’

‘He said it to his wife forty years ago. Now he keeps on serving his ill wife.’

**

She said to the father of naughty children, ‘Take care of them. I will come back after getting my tooth extracted.’

Her husband replied, ‘You take care of them. I will get my tooth removed.’

***

‘Oh! Where have you got this monkey’s son?’

‘Yesterday, I got it on the terrace. I think his mother had left him. See, black and white stripes on his chest. He looks like a zebra. I think he belongs to the rare species of monkeys.’

‘Take him to zoo if you accept my proposal.’

Third day: ‘You are still moving with the baby monkey. I told you to take him to zoo.’

‘Yes, I took him to zoo yesterday. I showed him many animals. Having seen them he was happy. Today I am thinking to take him to Cinema.’

****

There was an advertisement about matrimonial in a newspaper. ‘An old man needs a life partner who may be educated or not, but should be homely, mild and obedient.’

He got many letters but in one of them it was written, ‘Dear sir, you don’t need wife but a dog. I am going abroad and have a pet dog so I am ready to sell my dog. My dog is mild in nature, obedient and uneducated.’

********************